Jokes about tofu are tasteless. I’m tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and nearly killed some bloke on a bike. Which musical instrument is optimally eco-friendly and yet contains CO2? An air guitar. I now always ride to school by bike. It's supposed to be better for the environment. It's just difficult to get the bike in and out of the trunk. Father and son go for a walk. Suddenly, the little boy greets a complete stranger. The father asks, "Who was that?" - "Someone from environmental protection. He always asks Mom if the air is clean." Organic is only for young people. At my age, I rely on every preservative I can get. I have no ecological footprint - because I go everywhere by car. The teacher asks the class: "What do you mean by the use of hydroelectric power? - 14-year-old Susi speaks up and asks: "If I cry until Daddy buys me new shoes? Organic is healthy? Then try an organic salad made from tuberous-leaved mushrooms and fly agarics. I am WGtarian. I eat what my roommates cook. Eco jokes #11 - 20 Two planets meet far out in space. One planet says to the other planet, "Well, you look like hell!" - The other planet replies, "I don't feel so good either." "What's wrong with you?" asks the first. "I have homo sapiens!" complains the second. "Oh," says the first one laughing, "don't worry about it, I've had that too, it'll pass soon." What do organic farmers in bed? Nothing at all, because the organic farmer does not spray! If trees sent wifi signals, people would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen stuff. Animals do not pollute the environment like humans. Please behave like animals! If one glacier says to the other: "You still owe me 1,000 euros! - the other replies: "Give me a few more days, soon I'll be liquid again. What do you call a heavyweight vegetarian? Organic garbage can. Freedom for the gummy bears! Away with the plastic bags! What is the most dangerous season? Summer: the sun stings, the heads of lettuce shoot, the trees lash out and the lawn is blown up. How can you tell that you are too fat? When you are lying on the beach and several Greenpeace activists try to roll you back into the sea. Do you know what the difference is between a human being and a mouse? Man invented the atomic bomb. A mouse would never invent a mousetrap. Eco jokes #21 - 30 A child, an environmentally conscious oil executive and Santa Claus leave a conference room. Who turns off the lights? The child. The other two do not exist. What is the surest remedy against the greenhouse effect? The nuclear winter. The term "bio" comes from Latin and is translated to "two euros more expensive." If you're not a big light, at least you'll save electricity. What are politics doing to combat climate change? They are limiting heated debates on environmental protection measures to one hour. How can you recognize fine dust at home? Thick air, no traffic. What's green and just around the corner? A knock salad. Says one cow to the other: "You better not fart, we wanted to do something for climate protection!" I totally pay attention to sustainability when baking. With a little skill, bread dough, heat and love becomes an excellent doorstop that gives pleasure for weeks. Organic farmers always claim, "Good grass makes good milk." - as if cows would smoke pot... Tip: If you want actual, knowledgable background on the organic farming I recommend you to read the linked blog article. Eco jokes #31 - 40 I do not have cobwebs in the apartment - they are eco-dream catchers! Stands a tree alone in the forest. "Did you run over the climate activists on purpose?" - "Nope, with all-wheel drive!" "I'm vegan, by the way." - "Oh, you're probably out of love for animals?" - "No, out of plant hatred, pure plant hatred!" What's so eco about the organic asparagus? Did the harvest workers come from Poland by bike? Environmental protection can be so simple! For example, I have deliberately never bought a jet or a yacht. In Berlin: "Excuse me, how do I get into the Natural History Museum?" - the Berliner says: "When you get stuffed." A woman comes into a flower store and asks: "Are the flowers natural or artificial?" - says the shopkeeper: "Artificial natural!" - the woman says: "Which one? Artificial or natural?" - says the shopkeeper: "Artificial of course!" Since I only buy organic fruit, my fruit flies have really healthy red cheeks. Says one snake to the other, "Say, are we actually poisonous?" - replies the other: I don't know, why?" - the other says: "I just bit my tongue." Eco jokes #41 - 50 My contribution to environmental protection? I separate alcohol from the glass. How do you recognize a green SUV? By the color! Mother to son: "You shouldn't always lounge around so lazily on the couch!" - Son: "I'm doing something for the environment - I'm saving energy! "Be eco-friendly: don't buy it, borrow it!" - "Good idea, I'm borrowing firewood now." Air travel is very environme